_-=[Pr0]=-_

[Ragnara]

One beautiful princess is enslaved in a castle guarded by a fearsome dragon...

Here are is what happens according to the genre of the metal knight:

POWER METAL: The knight reaches the castle on a white unicorn, kills the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in the enchanted forest

HEAVY METAL: The knight reaches the castle on a Harley motorcycle, kills the dragon, saves the princess, drinks a shitload of beers and then fucks the princess

FOLK METAL: The knight arrives with some friends playing violin, flute and other varius instruments. The dragon sleeps due to the music and then they everybody leaves without the princess

VIKING METAL: The knight arrives on a drakkar, kills the dragon with his sword, cuts him and eats him. Then he rapes the princess until she is dead, steals her dowry, burns the castle down and then leaves

THRASH METAL: The knight arrives wearing a military uniform and uses napalm to burn them all down. After that he whispers "I love the smell of napalm in the morning.. It smells like victory "

DEATH METAL: The knight arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess, kills the princess and leaves

BLACK METAL: The knight arrives by midnight, kills the dragon and embalms him, fucks the princess anally, drinks her blood during a ritual before he sacrifices her, and in the end he embalms her near the dragon

GORE METAL: The knight arrives, kills the dragon and decorates the castle with his entrails. Then he rapes the princess and kills her. After that he fucks again the dead body, rips off her belly and eats her entrails. Once more he fucks what remains of the body, then burns it and then fucks it again.

DOOM METAL: The Knight arrives and seeing how huge and fearsome the dragon is, considers that he can't beat him, he gets depressed and then commits suicide. The dragon eats the knight and the princess for desert. The end of a sad story..

PROGRESSIVE METAL: The knight arrives with a guitar and plays a 26-minute solo.. The dragon kills himself due to boredom. The knight arrives in the room of the princess and plays another very difficult solo which he had practised a lot. The princess runs away searching for the heavy metal knight

GLAM METAL: The knight arrives and the dragon laughs till death seeing the knights style so he lets him in. The knight steals the princess' make up & accessories and tries to paint the tower pink.

"NU" METAL: The knight arrives with an old rusty honda civic and tries to kill the dragon but eventually he dies because his polyester trousers get on fire..
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† 31.01.2006 †